I just finished reading a Vice Magazine article on this guy who built a huge fall-out shelter and is convinced that the end of the world is nigh. It was a pretty good read. As I grappled with this piece of journalistic doom-slinging, Kid A was blasting in my headphones. It got me thinking. When the shit comes down, we’re going to need a soundtrack…and an iPod that runs on smiles, ‘cause batteries will be like gold. With that in mind, I present my soundtrack for the apocalypse.

Radiohead
Kid A
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About the weirdest/most perfect thing a world-renowned, era-defining band like Radiohead has ever done…and I count “Revolution 9” in that list. Kid A sounds like human beings turning into machines (or vice versa), and has this uncanny ability to level any emotional playing field…it simultaneously bums out and inspires.

John Coltrane
Ascension (both versions)
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I know this was one of Coltrane’s paeans to a higher power or purpose, but it sounds more like a man descending into a hot-weather madness. Like a Tennessee Williams play…seriously insane while somehow remaining focused.

Sunn O)))
Black One
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This is the audio equivalent of waking up one day to find nothing but uninhabited, barren wastes as far as you can see. Like the opening scene of 28 Days Later or that dude with the crossbow arm from The Road Warrior. Not only that, but they’re all out of toilet paper.

The Icarus Line
Mono
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On their debut, The Icky Line craft this beautifully chaotic glass-covered fist-in-the-face of modern punk rock. The schizophrenic guitar breaks over singer Joe Cardamone’s needle-sharp wail is one of the most viceral things to come out of LA since Damaged. Add to this the fact that The Icarus Line have been kicked out of about half of the places they have ever played, and you know you are dealing with a barn-burner.

Converge
Jane Doe
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“Concubine” is the most punishing song I have ever heard…and that’s just the first track.